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Connelly Top Ten – Punishable by Death

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Connelly Top Ten – Punishable by Death

1. Red Sox Stuff

* Hanley has missed 87 games in three years
* Panda has played in 161 games in three years (Jim Rice played in 163 in 1978)
* Gary Disarcina (1-0) joins Tony Luvollo as bench coaches with a better winning percentage than the head coach
* David Price hasn’t pitched into the 8th inning since 2015
2. Red Sox Minor Leagues Stuff
* Rafael Devers has 16 home runs in Portland in 255 at bats
* ERA of Portland’s starting pitching: 4.42 / 5.11 / 5.03 / 5.81 / 5.66 / 6.51 / 11.21
* Some guy named Beeks (not from Trading Places) has an ERA of 2.19
* Sandoval is 6-32 at Pawtucket (.188)
3. Most beloved former Boston athletes:

·Pedro

·Orr (because he lives here)

·Bird

·O’Reilly

·Grogan

·Millar

·Yaz – Greta Garbo

·Ortiz – will move up the list soon

·Wakefield

·Varitek

4. John Lackey 32-30 since leaving the Sox

 

5. I’m making a declaration – This is Tom Brady’s last year. Reasons why:

   *  Smart move saying five years left – so people aren’t bothering him through the year

   *  Gisselle’s comments about concussions seemed strange

  *  Why would you not take a top ten pick for a back up quarterback unless you are going to need him

 *   They loaded up this year

 

6. Pawtucket Red Sox site has top twenty prospects BUT its from 2014 and hasn’t been updated. Not a good idea since Dombrowski has traded them all: including Margot, Travis Shaw and Michael Kopech

 

7. Old School – Old Red Sox that were league leaders when at Pawtucket:

Batting Champion – Juan Beniquez (1973) / Jim Rice (1974) / Wayne Harer (1977) / Gary Hancock (1977), Wade Boggs (1981)

Home Run Title – Jim Rice (1974) / Jack Baker (1976) / Sam Bowen (1979) / Phil Plantier (1990) / Rick Lancellotti (1991), Izzy Alacantra (2001), Early Snyder (2004)

 

8. Amazing Stats – 1957 Willie Mays had a 20 / 20 / 20 / 20

*20 Triples

* 26 doubles

* 35 Home Runs

* 38 Stolen Bases

 

9. Just a Little Bit Outside – Update on things that should be punishable by death

*       Talking in a movie theatre

*      Texting while in the speed lane on the highway

 *       Telemarketing by phone

*        When I can’t tape a game on the other channel because the scroll on the bottom of my TV keeps giving me the score

*        Dog owners that allow their dog to walk and pee on my lawn

*        Bikers who think they are a car and ride down the middle of the street and make me miss a light

*        When you get caught in an endless cycle answering the robot’s questions on a phone call – can’t I talk to a person (and not from India with broken English)

 

10. Randomocity

* Recently an American travel agency suspended its  North Korean Travel company affiliate – you mean there was a need for such a business

*  A favorite sports sign – after Robert Parish got in trouble for marijuana – someone held up a sign at the Garden – “All inhale the Chief”

* is Cookie Dough ice cream just a little bit over-rated?

* Haven’t been to a Red Sox game in three years – since opening day 2015 – no interest

Michael has written for the Boston Herald and other sites in the past and his top ten column is now housed on Trifecta Sports Network. Connelly’s Top Ten releases on Monday’s and Friday’s.

Editorial

Connelly’s Top Ten – Patriots Good in any Country or Sea Level

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1. PATRIOTS

OPENING THOUGHTS 

*Patriots three games up in the division

* Kraft still avoiding the barber’s chair

* Romo still good but can wear on you

BRADY

* Appreciate every game – he is amazing
* Greatest flat foot thrower ever
* Great one handed catch of the snap and then TD pass to Cook
* I was wrong with Brady getting hurt in Mexico City
* Just think Carr makes $13j,000,000 more than Brady

OFFENSE

*Touches – Lewis 13 / White 5 / Burkhead 9 (or whatever Jim Nantz called him)

* Surprised to see Burkhead fumble and come back and get a carry
* James White hurt?
* Gronk went over the eight-game mark for the third time in five years
* Dwayne Allen great fumble recovery

*Cooks on pace for 1,200 yards 

DEFENSE 

* Who is Reilly on defense – 233rd pick in 2014

* Average tattoos per defender was down significantly with Marsh out of the line up

* Elandron Roberts matching Beast mode with a couple of hard hits

* Gilmore dehydrated and comes out of game – how many full games has he played?

* Chung got hurt making a play after Gilmore missed tackle

* Jonathan Jones forced fumble – he just makes plays

BILL GARB / KRAFT SIGHTINGS

* Blue wind breaker and visor for Bill
* Bob Kraft with 13:27 left in the third quarter / 8:15 left in the 4th quarter

RAIDERS

* Del Rio will not be on Oakland sideline next year
* Ten Oakland receivers caught passes
* Raiders quit
* Derek Carr sitting on the bench by himself / receivers dropping balls / reports that black line men weren’t blocking for him earlier in the year because he wouldn’t kneel for the national anthem
* Oakland since the tuck rule – not good
* Love Raider #21 dancing after Brady incomplete pass with the Patriots up 30-8

OTHER

* Mark Davis haircut was a Shemp special

*Marshawn Lynch sat for the American national anthem but stood for Mexico – I wonder if the woman he hit and run with his Porsche even has the choice if she could sit or stand?

*With 77,000 fans at the game that meant there was like 40,000 seats empty

2. Around the NFL and College Football

* Did Baker Mayfield of Oklahoma cost himself the Heisman by being a total jerk?

* Jim Harbaugh will be jumping to the NFL – he can’t get over the hump in Big 10

* BC gets bowl eligible with a big win over 116th ranked U Conn – Dillon real deal – keep the transfer papers away from him
* Thanks Giants for beating the Chiefs
* Denver 0-3 at home last three games – amazing
* Bad week for Jamie Winston at Tampa – accused of sexual harassment and an old guy from Harvard is winning at Tampa when he couldn’t

3. Celtics and Bruins

* I’m sort of saying this in jest – Rask should have to watch the goalies in Hurling at Fenway manning up to stop 100 mph shots with just their t shirt for equipment (by the way Rask makes $8,000,000 – Hurling goalies are sometimes paid free pints)

4. Since 2010, Drew Brees and Tom Brady have played in 272 of 274 games they were eligible to play in

5. NBA three pointers ruining the sport (back to my suggestion – three pointers only in the last two minutes of the quarter). Players dribble into paint just to pass it out to three-point land.

* Rockets are attempting more three pointers than two pointers – 44.4 to 39.2
* Twelve teams attempting at least 30 three pointers a game
* Lakers are hitting 7 a game and missing 17 a game

6. Lakers / Nets record update to figure out how much of a genius Danny Ainge is:

* Lakers…6-10
* Nets…….6-9

7. Amazing Stats. – The Celtics and Patriots are a combined 20-1 on the road this year

8. Old School – On November 8th 1970 – Tom Dempsey kicked a 63 yard field goal – how did his day compare to Gostkowski:

 

*Dempsey four field goals – 63 yarder and three that added up to 64 yards – average 32 yards a field goal

* Gostkowski four field goals – 62 yarder and three that added up to 120 yards – average 46 yards a field goal

9. Just a Little Bit Outside – Best former players as local analysts

1. Eck
2. Derek Sanderson
3. Geno Cappelletti
4. Tom Heinsiohn
5. Ken Harrelson
6. Johnny Pierson
7. John Pesky

10. Randomocity

* I have a lock bet for you – Flag Football will be a Massachusetts high school varsity sport within three years
* Surprised that Mike Felger on 98.5 actually said the words that Jerry Jones said about Bob Kraft – so soon after his controversy regarding Roy Halliday sounded like a guy who might want to move on
* Broadcast stations love football injuries – they make money by going to commercial
* The park the Boston Braves played at was lovingly known as the Wigwam
* Watched Spielberg documentary on HBO interesting B+

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Editorial

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Celtics Streaking

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Life has been immaculately great for Boston Sports fans lately. This may be a harbinger of the Apocalypse.

There’s almost nothing to whine about!

Now, notice the use of the word “almost”. There’s ALWAYS something to whine about. And I’ll traverse the most obscure bowels of the universe in order to find it.

A dichotomy has formed between the Bruins and the rest of this banner saturated sports city. Somehow every team is winning, except for the them.

The B’s have been playing like amateurs, losing 4 out of their last 5 games. So if you’re a hockey fan you’re probably seeking some sort of uplifting spin.

You’ve come to the wrong place. This team is indefensibly mediocre. 

Some followers of the Boston Bruins have implored the organization to bomb for the rest of the season, in pursuit of a high draft pick.

Soon we’re going to be throwing “perfect parades” like the laughable Cleveland Browns. No, I’m not kidding. Several fans in Cleveland have formally petitioned the city government to throw a celebration in the streets, if the Browns can successfully go 0-16.

So I ask you, Don Sweeney and Cam Neely, is this what you guys want? If you didn’t already know, Boston does not throw “losing parades”. Our teams drive duck boats down confetti littered streets, while elatedly violating plush dolls.

Go ahead and ask Gronk. It’s the bee’s knees!

The Bruins did not deserve to make the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, this week. When a franchise is writhing in a dismal pit such as this one, they receive a dishonorable mention.

Now let’s get to the Boston teams that are actually worthy of criticism. It’s time for the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

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Editorial

Connelly’s Top Ten – 14 Straight! Patriots Try to Survive Mexico City

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Patriots

1. Patriots in Mexico City

* Patriots have no defensive touchdowns
Seven Patriots with TD receptions
Patriots have two interceptions and one fumble after nine games
* Tuck rule was snow – this game will be volcano ash
* We don’t need any stinking badges
* Mexico had more murders in 2016 – 23,000 than Iraq 17,000 and Afghanistan 16,000
Just get out of the game with a win and alive

2. Celtics are 16 games into the season (20%) and are 14-2 – how did the last six Celtic championship teams start:

2007…..14-2
1985…..14-2
1982…..13-3
1981…..11-5
1975……10-6
1973……13-6

3. Went to Celtics game:
Marcus Smart should not be allowed to cross mid court – every time he got the ball the crowd was yelling don’t shoot
Terry Rozier is a good dribbler but can’t beat anyone off the dribble
Curry looks like he didn’t want to be there
Half the cars downtown are Uber or Lyft
99 in Charlestown has a shuttle to the Bruins game but not the Celtics
Crowd chanting MVP for Irving
Irving the most exciting player in this town since Pedro
Don’t like Horford bringing the ball up
Was it me or did Morris not shake Brad’s hand at a timeout
Two teams were 17-64 from three point land – they missed a three-pointer almost every minute of the game
Irving and Curry were 7-30 from field
That was a game I think Brad should have went 40 minutes with Brown

4. With Marcus Smart amazing on defensive end and painful on offensive end – other local players with only one side of the game:

* Dick Stuart – Dr. Strangeglove
* Darren Lewis – all defense
* Hal Gill – No offense (reader Bob says no offense either)
* Alex Gonzalez
* Steve Kasper
* Jose Canseco
* Don Chaney
* Hanley Ramirez
5. Red Sox are looking for a slugger like Stanton – how have past sluggers done in the first year with the Red Sox
Baylor………….31 HR / 94 RBI / .238 Avg
Esasky…………30 HR / 108 RBI / .277 Avg
Wily Mo Pena..11 HR / 42 RBI / .301 Avg
Danny Cater……8 HR / 39 RBI / .237 Avg
Jack Clark…….28 HR / 87 RBI / .249 Avg
Jose Canseco 24 HR / 81 RBI / .306 Avg

6. Odds to Win Championship

* Red Sox………10-1 / 6th tied with Nationals
* Celtics………….12-1 / 4th
* Bruins…………..28-1 / 20th
* Patriots…………3-1 / 1st

7. Amazing Stats – In Game Six of 1974 and 1976 NBA Finals – the following minutes were played in the double overtime game:

1974

* Kareem……………….58
* Oscar Robertson……58
* John Havlicek……….58
* Jo Jo White………….54

1976

* Gar Heard……61
* Jo Jo White….60
* John Havlicek..58
* Dave Cowens.55
* Curtis Perry….52

8. Old School – Bobby Doerr stuff:

* Had his best year at age 21 – hit .318
* Was first base coach on the 1967 Red Sox season
* Sixty Five years married
* Nine All Star games
* Missed 1945 because of service

9. Just a Little Bit Outside – When is Tom Coughlin gonna be considered one of the great football minds – EVER?

* Head Coach Boston College: three season 4-7 / 8-3-1 / 9-3
* First Jacksonville Coach – Four of franchise first five seasons – playoffs
* Giants Coach – Two Super Bowls
* Jaguars EVP of Operations – Season before he arrived 3-13 / first season 6-3

10. Randomocity

· * Saw two sports documentaries this week Senna – on the Formula 1 super star A- / Once in a Lifetime on the Cosmos – B
· * Toast better than bread
Who GQ could have picked for person of the year over Colin Kapernick – Stephon Willeford Texas savior or Rose McGowan

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